Memoir

This week I found out that an excerpt from a memoir I’m writing will be published this winter in the Canadian journal, Prairie Fire. The story is about my experiences in Rishikesh, India. It’s part of a larger work called Searching For Rob, about falling in love with this guy named Rob, going our separate ways, and then spending the rest of my trip trying to find him again. Spoiler alert: Reader, I married him.

Although I’m excited about publishing a memoir excerpt, I’ve also had to think a little about what it means to write about myself. While the book details my spiritual and emotional development, it’s also one big booty call. While I’m not worried about exposing myself, and Rob approves of the story, I decided it was it was a good idea to send the excerpt to my parents before it was published. My poor parents! When I was traveling around India I gave no thought to their anxieties. I emailed them regularly, but gave them no details about what I was actually doing. At all. For example, I never told them about the day I rode a motorcycle without a helmet, or hiked alone in the mountains, or the time I arrived in Nepal without a guidebook or any Nepali money. As an adult with kids of my own (whom I of course worry about), I feel just a wee bit bad for my parents reading about my adventures on motorcycles with tattooed strangers. 

Another challenge of writing a memoir is that you have to believe that your story is interesting and worth saying. When I write fiction I make up the stories and I get to craft a compelling narrative. With non-fiction, I’m working with the conceit that I’ve lived an interesting life. I do think I have had some exciting adventures, but I also worry I’m a terrible bore. Imagine being stuck in an elevator with someone who thinks their life story is fascinating and wants to tell you the whole story in minute detail for hours on end? That’s what writing a memoir sometimes feels like.

Hopefully there’s balance between these two, and , and maybe more importantly, a really good story to tell. I didn’t just chase Rob across India, I also learned about Buddhism, met interesting people, struggled with my idea of self, and saw some amazing sights. This is what I have to imagine when I’m writing, otherwise I fall into the chaos of self-aggrandizement and self-hating. It’s odd how closely connected these are.

I’ve accumulated a list of books for reading and re-reading about India to help me write about my trip. Before I went to India, I read some fantastic fiction about the subcontinent: Rohinton Mistry’s A Fine Balance and Tales from Firozsha Baag; Vikram Seth’s A Suitable Boy; Salman Rushdie’s The Moor’s Last Sigh and Midnight’s Children; and VS Naipaul's A Million Mutinies Now.

In contrast, most of my reading during my trip was unplanned and spontaneous, the kind of reading I rarely do these days. Finding books to read in India in 1998 meant trading with other travelers or perusing used book shops. Everything I read was gift. I stumbled upon Lolita while waiting for Rob in Nepal. Toni Morrison’s Beloved helped me through a bout of illness in Varansi. Faulkner's The Sound and The Fury made a very long train ride feel shorter. 


I'm hoping to re-read a few books specifically about India that I discovered during the trip to help remember my experiences. Herman Hesse’s Siddartha reinforced everything I was learning about Buddhism and meditation. Along with this, I think it’s high time I re-read Goenka’s The Art of Living. Goenka is the founder of the Vipasanna meditation method I learned about India. To balance these out, Gita Mehta’s Karma Cola should throw some cold water on any enlightening thoughts. Her book details the pitfalls of Westerns descending upon India to find the spiritual guidance that was lacking in their own lives, and explores the devastating impact that foreigners had on rural Indian communities as their lives became commodities for Western consumption. I remember reading it in shock and dismay. I just wanted to meditate and learn, but the book changed the way I viewed myself and traveling in India. 


Although I don’t have the massive guide book I traveled with, my book-loving (hoarding?) friend Ada has lent me two 1990’s guide books to India. They are in good shape, but slightly dirty. I handle them tentatively, as if they might still bare some of the illness and dirt I remember from the trip. The grubby cover of Ada’s Lonely Planet India reminds me of my friend James’ copy that he accidentally dropped in the muddy and very polluted shores of the Ganges in Varanasi.

Lastly, I have my journal from the trip, a remarkably pristine spiral ring journal with a Miffy cover that I bought at the Japanese book store Kinokuniya in Kanazawa, Japan. In the front cover is a list of the books I read during the trip, and in the back is a list of Japanese and Hebrew phrases I picked up from other travelers, important words like "samim," Hebrew for drugs, and "oshaberi," Japanese for chatterbox. There's a also list of the US traveler cheques I exchanged into rupees. (Apparently I lived on less than 500 US$  per month!)  Mostly I wrote about things that seemed unimportant to what I remember from the trip, but one thing is clear: I was hopelessly in love with Rob. 

Ottolenghi Sundays

The only book I’m reading with any real focus these days is Yotam Ottolenghi and Sami Tamimi’s Jerusalem, a middle-eastern cookbook. My entire family whole-heartedly approves of this reading since it leads to the MOST delicious meals. I’ve inaugurated Ottolenghi Sundays, in which I spend most of my Sunday afternoons making meals my son describes as “a giant patchkorai.” I don’t know how to spell this Yiddish word (and my son doesn’t know how to pronounce it correctly,) but basically it means a meal that is a lot of work.

Tamimi, an Israeli-Arab, and Ottolenghi, a Jewish-Israeli, might have met in London, where they collaborate and cook together, but the recipes of Jerusalem are a cross section of Israeli culture and cuisine: Tunisian, Lebanese, Iranian and Turkish. For me, raised on Ashkenaz cuisine, these adventures into Jewish Sephardi and Mizrahi cooking are an exciting exploration of sumac and za'atar. 

I’ve become so obsessed with Jerusalem that we also had an Ottolenghi/Tamami Friday night dinner this week: kubbeh, a kind of lamb and bulghur tart, and a fattoush salad. I’m not sure how long I can keep working my way through the cookbook as my budget for pine nuts is growing thin, and my family is wondering when my obsession with eggplant is going to end. In the meantime, we’re eating well.

So, if you like to cook, and you like Israeli food, get this book. And make the stuffed eggplant, the sweet and sour fish, and the pickled lemon. I also recommend the turkey and zucchini meatballs and the burnt eggplant soup. There’s a sweet section in the book, and a whole new dessert cookbook called Sweet that I haven’t gotten to, but if I ever get back to eating sugar, I’ll be sure to indulge.  

If you only have time or energy to cook one recipe, go with the stuffed eggplant. I was watching the new Netflix documentary on Israeli Food and one of the first meals the host eats is stuffed eggplant. Here’s Jerusalem's recipe for it. Leave yourself lots of time to make this one- the eggplants roast in the oven for an hour and a half! 

  

Stuffed Eggplant

4 medium eggplants, halved lengthwise

6 T olive oil

1 1/2 T cumin

1 1/2 t parprika

2 onions, finely chopped

1 lb ground lamb

7 T pine nuts

handful chopped parsley

2 t tomato paste

3 t sugar

2/3 cup water

1 1/2 lemon juice

1 t tamarind paste (I left this out.)

4 cinnamon sticks

salt and pepper

Put eggplants skin side down in a roasting pan and bush with 4 T oil and season with 1 t salt and plenty of pepper. Roast for twenty minutes until golden and then allow to cool slightly. 

Heat the remaining 2 T oil in a large frying pan and add half quantities of the cumin, paprika and cinnamon with the onion. Cook for eight minutes over medium-high heat. Then add the lamb, pine nuts, parsley, tomato paste, 1 t sugar, 1 t salt and some pepper. Cook for eight more minutes, until the meat is cooked.

Put the remaining spices in a bowl with the water, lemon juice, tamarind, the remaining sugar and the cinnamon stick and 1/2 t salt.  

Pour the spice mix in to the bottom of the eggplant roasting pan. Spoon the lamb mixture on top of each eggplant. Cover the pan with aluminum foil and roast for 1 1/2 hours at 375 degrees. Serve at room temperature or warm, but not hot.

         

Kingston Writers Festival

Melanie Fishbane

This past week I had the pleasure of being part of The Kingston Writers Festival. I can't tell you how excited I am when my home town is turned into a mecca of literature. So far I've heard Adam Gopnik and Michael Chabon speak, met Melanie Fishbane of Maud fame, and ran into my favourite Kingston writer Sarah Tsiang. I got to meet the amazing author, editor and teacher, Shelley Tanaka who hosted the panel I presented at, and introduced a class I taught.




The highlight of the festival was presenting for teens with the author of Saints and Misfits, SK Ali. The festival puts the panel together and it's always a gift to find out you are going to present with someone you don't know, but who turns out to be a special person, and a fantastic writer. 

SK Ali

SK Ali is a Toronto writer, and her book, Saints and Misfits, is about a Muslim teenager, Janna, who faces a variety of challenges as a teen. Some of those challenges are the kind that all teenagers face: tense family relations and social media bullying. Janna is also dealing with the fact that a guy from her mosque, who everyone thinks is a saint, has attempted to sexually assault her. 

I loved the multitude of nuanced characters in this book. Ali creates a complete world for Janna, full of friends who provide multiple glimpses into Janna's Muslim and non-Muslim world,  and the tension Janna feels between her religious and secular worlds. I especially loved reading the voice of a young woman who wears a hijab, and gaining access to a world I know very little about. Can you name another book about a hijab-wearing young Muslim woman? According to Ali, the only other YA book is the Australian author Randa Abdel-Fattah's Does My Head Look Big In This?

For all of it's differences, many of the themes of Saints and Misfits are things I've written about, or know about from my own adventures in the religious world. I know what it's like to be in love with someone outside my religion. I know what it's like to balance religious and secular life. Janna participates in a quiz game called The Fun-Fun-Fun Islamic Quiz Game, that reminded me of the many years I participated in Jewish youth group activities.

If you are interested in diverse YA books, Saints and Misfits, is not be missed. 

I am heading back to the festival tonight to hear Diane Schomperlen, Karen Connelly and others read at the Saturday Night Speakeasy. The KWF website says its already 73% sold out, but tickets are still available. 

Booker Long List

I didn’t intend to read through the The Booker Prize Longlist this past summer but when I saw I’d already read several of the titles on the list, I felt I had a manageable task. I’d heard of several of the books already through Eleanor Wachtel’s Writers and Company.

Zadie Smith’s Swing Time is my favourite book on the list so far. Its the story of a young British black woman who works for a famous singer, Amy. When Amy starts doing volunteer work in Africa, the narrator (unnamed in the story) is forced to think about white privilege and how well-intentioned work can quickly morph into a new kind of twisted colonialism. It was refreshing to read the voice of a Black woman. Other books with black female narrators I enjoyed are Ayobami Adebayo’s Stay With Me and Ya Gyasi’s Homecoming.

Colson Whitehead’s book, The Underground Railway is one woman’s journey escaping from slavery. This slave narrative is jolted into a new form by the steampunk arrival of a literal underground railway. Cora, a runaway slave, journey through the states allows us to see the varieties of slavery, from a seemingly safe model city in South Carolina, to the burning of a black community in Oklahoma.  Although the book is rife with violence, the possibility of Cora moving (yet again) lends small glimmers of hope.

Mohsin Hamid’s Exit West also uses a supernatural device as a metaphor, this time, for the immigration experience. In an unnamed Muslim country two young people, Nadia and Saeed, begin a relationship just a as a military regime takes over their country. With the help of a fixer, they open a door from their country and arrive in another. They travel first to a refugee camp in Greece, then to England, and finally to the US. The doors expedite the story, but also replicate the sense of immediate change immigrants experience as they find themselves in radically different places. While the book is about the tension of being an illegal immigrant, it is also about the tensions of migration. Hamsin writes, “… for when we migrate, we murder from our lives those we leave behind.” This made me think of my grandparents leaving Russia and the families they never saw again. Exit West is short, lyrical and will stay with me for a long time. (It also has a really pretty cover.)  

Next on my list is Solar Bones by Mike McCormick and Lincoln in the Bardo. I love George Saunder’s short stories and I’m sure Lincoln won’t disappoint.

My only qualms with the Booker List (other than Zadie Smith didn’t make the short list) is that Hari Kunzu’s White Tears is not on the list. While I really enjoyed the other books and would recommend them highly, White Tears is the only book this year that I read twice, sought out author reviews, insisted my husband read and tried to foist on my neighbours. I loved this book because I was confused by this book and it made me think, and think again.

The novel is about a young white man named Seth from a modest background whose wealthy friend Carter collects black music. When Seth records a man singing in New York on the street he thinks nothing of it, but when Carter fixes it up to sound like an old record and then puts in on the internet under the name Charlie Shaw, Seth’s world starts to implode. A blue’s collector claims that Charlie Shaw was a real person and Seth is drawn into the world of the black south where depression-era indentured prisoners endure a slave-like existence.

The book's characters start to blur in ways that suggest the violence done to the black community eventually comes to harm the white community too. Yet I'm still not sure what it means when an author of colour writes a book called White Tears? Is he being sincere that this white protagonist is really crying for the legacy of hurt against black people, or are white tears tongue-in-cheek? I still don’t know, and I don’t want anyone to tell me either.  

More Victorian Reading

I didn't get very far reading Russian novels this spring. Instead, I seem to be drawn back into the world of Victorian literature. I'm currently reading (and loving) EM Forster's Where Angels Fear to Tread. Not only do I love the story- such outrage over Lilia Herriton's marriage to a younger Italian man- but I also love the title, which is from Alexander Pope's Essay On Criticism, "For fools rush in where angels fear to tread."

Earlier in the spring I also enjoyed Claire Harman's biography Charlotte Bronte: A Fiery Heart. Usually I find biographies offer too many details about parts of their subjects lives that don't interest me, but in this book I was fascinated by all aspects of Bronte's short life, from her experiences at boarding school, to her unrequited love with her Belgian tutor, and her adventures in publishing, both as Currer Bell and under her own name. Although I knew all the Bronte children died young and under tragic circumstances, I hadn't realized Charlotte had buried all of her sisters at such young ages, and I hadn't realized that Branwell Bronte, had died of alcohol and drug addiction. I also thought Charlotte hadn't died of tuberculosis like her sisters, Anne and Emily. Instead she died of severe morning sickness leading to dehydration, an ailment suffered by many women, including Kate Middleton. What a short and tragic life!

You can listen to Eleanor Wachtel's excellent interview with Claire Harman on Writers and Company. And if you haven't yet seen the 2011 version of  Jane Eyre with Mia Wasikowska and Michael Fassbender, you can watch a clip of it here. The IMDB description of the film is as deliciously dramatic as the book itself: "a mousy governess softens the heart of her employer only to find out he is hiding a terrible secret."

For more Bronte reading, I also recommend Lena Coakley's World of Ink and Shadow. This YA novel is based on the teenage lives of four of the Bronte Siblings, Anne, Emily, Branwell and Charlotte. The Bronte siblings are well known for their published works, but also for the childhood writings, largely of imagined places. Coakley plays with the Bronte juvenilia by having the kids enter into the fictional world of Verdopolis that Branwell and Charlotte created. If you like all things Bronte, and YA fantasy, you might very well enjoy Worlds of Ink and Shadow.   

Russian Reading List 1

This spring I've been turning my reading attention away from Victorian-era Raj, and slowly focusing on Russia. This, I'm worried, will lead to a lot of depressing reading. If anyone knows about a happy Russian book, please let me know. It's with a certain trepidation that I start reading books that I feel to be from the land of bloody revolution, gulags, and the KGB. A google search for "funny Russian novels" came up with Russian classics, but nothing I would call a comedy.
So here's what's on my list.

I heard about Sana Krasikov's The Patriots from my favourite podcast, Unorthodox.  I was intrigued by the book because it's about people who immigrate from Russia, and then go back. Who does that? Lots of people, apparently, and guess what? It never ends well. You may think life in Canada or the US is problematic, or you may have high revolutionary ideals, but returning to the Mother Country is a sure way to become suspect by the Communist government. This is, of course, hindsight, and it does make for excellent fiction. Krasikov's novel is about three generations of Russians who return. I'm looking forward (sort of) to reading about the Cold War years, and about  current life in Russia.

Next on my list is Eva Stachniak's The Chosen Maiden. This historical novel takes place before and during World War One, earlier than the time period I'm interested in, but it's about Bronia and Vaslav Nijinsky, famous Russian dancers. I love a book about dance and this one is even blurbed by Cathy Marie Buchanan, author of one of my favourite dance books, The Painted Girls. This historical novel promises to shed light on the remarkable career of Bronia Nijinsky and the role politics played in her career. (I'm guessing being a ballerina in Communist times wasn't fun. Sigh.)



Okay, this is off topic of Russian books, but it's always good to talk about dance. I've endured many terrible dance movies with bad plots and poor acting- injured dancers, dancers with unreliable partners, choreographers who just don't understand- but if you want to watch a fantastic dance film, check out Ballet 422 on Netflix. It's a documentary of the New York City Ballet's 422nd original ballet choreographed by Justin Peck. I loved the way the film takes the viewer from the original ideas behind the choreography and then through rehearsals, costuming, lighting, to the final performance. Justin Peck is also kinda dreamy. Please enjoy his ballet "The Times Are Racing," filmed in the NY subway system.

One of my favourite podcasts, 99% Invisible also had a great show about Russia recently. 99% Invisible bills itself as the podcast about the "unnoticed architecture and design that shapes our world." I've learned about the US postal service, the urban planning of Salt Lake City, and my favourite episode, a phone booth in the Mojave Desert. In the episode, The Falling of the Lenins, old statues of Lenin are taken down in Kiev, Ukraine and other Ukrainians cities, revealing generational gaps and fissures in attitudes towards the Ukraine's Soviet past. While listening to it in the car, a small voice complained from the back seat, "Why are we always listening to things from Russia?" I had a huge flash back to myself complaining to my father about his obsession with Russian history. I didn't have an answer for my son at the time, but I'll be formulating one as I start reading about Russia, and when I eventually get to reading about Russian Jews, and just maybe, Russian Jews who decide to leave Canada and go back to Russia.

Oh wait, I just remembered a novel by a Russian author that isn't depressing. In fact, it is quite funny. David Bezmogis' Natasha and Other Stories is the story of Mark Berman and his parents, who have fled Riga for Toronto.  And, not only is Natasha a great read, but now it's a film. Even if the film does have a darker side- Mark's new cousin turns out to have a double life as a sex-worker- the trailer makes me long for the kind of summer where you ride your bike aimlessly, smoke cigarettes by a pool at night, and have few obligations. Yes, I'm reading for summer, or at least spring-like weather.

Book Launch for The Most Dangerous Thing

Awhile ago I launched my book, The Most Dangerous Thing, at Novel Idea bookstore, here in Kingston, ON. Lots of my friends came out to celebrate me, and for the first time my sons were old enough to come to the launch. I was supposed to post this ages ago, but life caught up with me, and I'm only sharing this now. Sigh. I'd still like to share the introduction I gave to the novel.

My boys are sitting in the front on the left. My reading must have been scintillating to them because one is very interested in his cookie, and the other is reading a Star Wars book instead of listening to me!

Good evening everyone. Thanks for coming out to join me in launching

The Most Dangerous Thing. This is a YA novel about a teenage girl growing up in Vancouver named Syd who suffers from a debilitating anxiety. Syd is also fighting a secret battle against depression. Syd believes she can cope with her mental health problems herself, but as the book progresses, Syd realized that she really needs some help.

I decided to write about mental health because I realized so many people, both friends and family, and also my students, were coping with some serious mental health issues. And mostly, no one was talking about their problems. It's my hope that teens suffering from depression might pick up a copy of The Most Dangerous Thing, and be able to relate to, and seek help if they need it.
The book is dedicated to my sister Marcy, partly because she's my sister and she's great, but also because she is a mental health nurse. During the writing of this book we had several long talks about mental health and she answered some of my questions from a clinical perspective.

The book is also dedicated to my Gibridge sisters, who are my neighbours. When my husband and I bought our house ten years ago, I knew we were moving to a great neighbourhood, but I didn't realize how many of my neighbours would also become my close friends. In particular I'd like to say thank you to Jen Davidson-Harden who also answered many of my questions about teen mental health.

This is me blessing the book: Please sell well!

I didn't want to invite everyone here tonight to read from a depressing section of my book, so I'm going to read from another part of the book that highlights some of the other challenges Syd faces. There's a cute boy that likes Syd, but Syd's not sure how people with anxiety talk to boys. Syd's anxiety about relationships and her sexuality is compounded when her sister Abby decides to put on The Vagina Monologues at her their high school. As you might imagine, Syd thinks this is a terrible idea!

I chose this section to read because I thought it would be fun to highlight the differences between extroverted and introverted siblings. In the book, Syd wonders if there's a support group available for introverted people with extroverted siblings. Siblings with extremely different personalities tends to be a theme in my family. My parents are very different from each other, as are my sister and I and my husband and his brother. This has continued in my own children. (At this point my boys were pointing and giggling at each other.) I'm pleased that my kids are old enough to be here tonight.

Oh! How fun is it to say 'vagina' in public?!

My introduction ended with a set-up of the scene I read, which was about Syd's sister announcing her intention to put on The Vagina Monologues. According to my friend Steve, I said the word vagina eleven times, which is probably eleven times more than it has ever been said in Novel Idea. I'm good with that, in fact I think we should all be saying vagina, or whatever you like to call female genitalia, a little more often.

If you're intrigued to read more about the book, please head to your local Indie book store, or you can find it online at most major retailers. You can also listen to a recording from the launch at Finding A Voice on CFRC. Many thanks to Bruce Kauffman for recording the launch, for his great weekly show and for all he does for literature in Kingston.

On Tour!

To celebrate the publication of my YA novel The Most Dangerous Thing, I will be on a Book Blog Tour all next week. If you follow the tour you can read reviews and interviews and even a guest post. Here are the dates.

March 14^th 

The Unofficial Addiction Book Fan Club

and Pink Polka Dot Books

March 15^th

T's Stuff

March 16th

Never Too Many Too Read

March 17^th

Mama Reads Blog

March 18^th

YA Obsessed

March 19th

Her Book Thoughts

Many thanks to The Fabulous Flying Book Club for setting up my tour!

It's Book Launch Time!

Now that it's March, I'm not only excited about March Break, but March 7th is the release date of my YA novel, The Most Dangerous Thing. I'm also excited about my Kingston launch party at Novel Idea on March 31st. You're all invited, even those of you who live too far away to come. Here's my beautiful invite.

It's possible that I was so excited to show off my new cover last post that I may have neglected to tell you what the book is about. Well, let me fill you in.

The Most Dangerous Thing is about a teenage girl named Syd who is struggling with anxiety and depression. Sydney also hates to talk (or even think) about sex. Since she isn't good at talking to people, especially boys, she's sure she'll never have a boyfriend. So, when her classmate Paul starts texting and sending her nature photos, she is caught off guard by his interest. Sydney's life is further complicated when her extroverted sister, Abby, decides to put on the play The Vagina Monologues at school. Through hearing about the play, Sydney starts to reexamine her relationship with her body, and with Paul. Eventually she starts to grapple with what she calls the most dangerous thing about sex: female desire. You can find the book (and buy it) at Orca Books, or at Amazon or better yet, at your local Indie book store.

You might have guessed that sisters are a big theme in this book, especially sisters who are different from each other. My own sister Marcy and I are very different people. I am far more outgoing, extroverted and goal-oriented than she is. She's way more generous, easy-going and patient that I am. As kids I performed on stage, and well, she didn't.  (She describes herself as the quiet one.) If either of was going to be put on a play at school, it definitely would have been me.

The book is dedicated to Marcy, mostly because she's my sister and she's a special person for all the reasons above, but it's also dedicated to her because of the conversations about mental health we had while I was writing the book. Marcy has worked as a registered nurse in mental health at Vancouver General Hospital for more than fifteen years. She works in the emergency department, so she sees a lot of people in crises. I know the patience and generosity she shows our family is also apparent in her professional life. I'm thankful to her for answering my many questions about anxiety and depression and mental health in general.

So here's to sisters. I feel lucky to have someone to have real tea parties with after all our childhood pretend tea parties, and to still regularly be trounced by whatever game we are playing. For years Marcy destroyed me at Gin Rummy, Spit, Mille Bourne, Rat Race and Monopoly. These days she trounces me at Scrabble. Currently she's 106(!) points ahead of me in our Words with Friends game, and there's no chance I'm going to make a comeback.

My mom, Marcy and me. (I'm the one hamming it up. Quel surprise, eh?)

Cover Reveal- The Most Dangerous Thing!

I got the most exciting package from my publisher this week: copies of my YA novel, The Most Dangerous Thing. I was quite pleased. Okay, I was actually thrilled! After years of hard work, there’s nothing like holding the physical object of your story in your hands. No longer disjointed in Scrivener, or marked up with Track Changes, it’s now a real thing. (Okay, there’s also some sheer terror lurking behind the joy, but mostly it’s a moment for happiness.)

Instead of writing these days, I’ve been working on book publicity. This means contacting magazines, blogs,  podcasts, local newspapers and telling them all about the book. And, it also means updating my web presence with my beautiful new cover. Getting a book cover is an interesting process. Someone else, (the art director) reads your book and comes up with an image that represents what you’ve written and what will help sell your book. My books has actually had two covers. Here's the first:

I really loved this when I got it. I loved the lettering, the colours and the clouds that represented my main character' Syd's mental health issues. I also loved the cyclist because Syd spends a lot of time on her bike. This first cover came to me mid-summer right in the midst of my own biking obsession. I biked over 600 km this season, mainly near my cottage, which is quite hilly. When I’m on my bike, I spend a lot of time thinking about future travel fantasies, books and my characters. Biking is a great way to sort out book-related problems. (I used to talk through these problems out loud  on my bike, but I was swallowing too many insects.)

This is me, with my bike, at my cottage August 2016. Biking is a fantastic way to make yourself ache all over and forget whatever ails you.

Just when I was really starting to fall in love with my book cover I got an an email from my publisher with a new cover. The first cover was skewing too young and so they went with another approach. It's quite different, but beautiful too, and probably speaks more accurately to some of the sexual content of the book. I was happy they kept the funky script for the title.

So here it is, the cover of The Most Dangerous Thing. The publication date is March 7. More details about the book, launch party and readings coming soon.

My Writing Group - On My Team

Writing is often a lonely thing. With the exception of the intense times when I work with my editor and we correspond frequently, most of my writing moments are spent alone. I absolutely treasure my solitude for getting the words on the paper, but the rest of the business of writing (publicity, wondering if what you wrote is any good, waiting for reviews, coping with endless rejection) can be very isolating. Luckily for me, I have the most amazing writing group. Ever. I don’t even live in the same city as my group, and they're still amazing.

I met my group through the Toronto Public Library's Writer-in-Residence Program which at the time was led by author Cynthia Holz. This is a great program if you live in the GTA. Here in Kingston, writers can meet and get feed-back from authors through the Writer-in-Residence program at Queen's University, or with the Poet-in-Residence at the Kingston Library.

 
Cynthia met with each of us individually, and then invited some of us to participate in a six-week seminar where we had the opportunity to give feed-back to each other on short assignments. At the time, I had just moved to Toronto and didn’t know very many people, so this was a great opportunity for me. I was also dying to be a writer, but didn’t know how to meet other writers or get published. At the end of the six weeks, I asked if anyone wanted to continue as a group, and seven of us did. I offered my large, decrepit, chilly apartment, and once a month the others trekked up to Melrose Avenue to look at each other’s work. We didn’t know each other at all at the beginning, but gradually through reading each other’s work, we became friends. We spanned over fifty years in age, originated from four different countries, claimed as many different religious and cultural heritages, and came to the group with a variety of personal and professional strengths.
 
That was almost twenty years ago. The group has seen marriages, babies, divorce, illness and death. Two of us have moved away, but still visit. One of us, moved away and then moved back. We lost Anne Warrick to cancer in 2014 and still miss her very much. Through all of this, there have been writing successes. Ania Szado has published two books Beginning of Was and Studio St-Ex. Elsie Sze has written Ghost Cave: A Novel of Sarawak, The Heart of the Buddha and Hui Gui: A Chinese Story. Dianne Scott has published short stories in The Toronto Star, Taddle Creek, The New Quarterly and others, and has an awesome book set on Toronto Island that I’m sure will be in print soon. For years Elizabeth has taunted us with stories about a monk that keep us hoping for more. Roz Spafford’s poetry collection Requiem won the 2008 Gell Prize. She's currently working on a memoir about growing up on a ranch in Northwestern Arizona. Anne Warrick self-published a collection of fascinating  short stories for her grandchildren about growing up in England.
 
I love my writing group because they always agree to look at things, no matter how long or outlandish (it’s about a girl who hates the Holocaust, it’s about a lesbian governess in colonial India). They put in time and effort to give me constructive feedback to improve my writing. They ask probing questions. They phrase things gently but pointedly. (I wonder if readers will stay with you long enough to get to the “good parts.”) And, they’re excited for my successes, and encouraging through the long stretches of rejection and waiting. They remind me why I wanted to do this crazy writing thing in the first place: because it is good to go into story and reshape what we know about the world on the page.

 So here’s to writing groups and good friends. If you write, I hope you have people to send your work to for feedback and support. If you don’t, take a course somewhere - I loved Humber College- hope to meet some good people, and then rope them into being on your team for life. 

Winter TBR

I've just gone through a spate of book ordering and buying and my TBR pile has all of a sudden grown astronomically. I thought I'd share some of the books I'm looking forward to reading this winter.

I'm currently reading Colson Whitehead's The Underground Railway. I heard about this book not because it's an Oprah Pick, but because the amazing Eleanor Wachtel interviewed him on her show, Writers and Company. Although I was slightly suspicious of the idea of the underground railroad being a real train, as opposed to a series of people and safe houses, this doesn't take away from the book. In fact, I'm sure this sort-of historical novel/genre-bending picaresque adventure will be one of my favourite reads this year.

I'm also looking forward to reading two Geoff Dyer books, Yoga for People Who Can't Be Bothered To Do It, and But Beautiful, A Book About Jazz. The Yoga book is a travel story, sort of. Dyer travels from place to place, (probably not doing yoga) and muses on journeys both exterior and interior. Since the Lieberman Smiths actually have some big travel plans coming up (2019!), I'm going to read this not with jealousy, but with my own future wanderings in mind. 

Forget Amazon or Goodreads algorithms, most of my reading comes from other people's suggestions. My former professor at the University of Windsor, Dale Jacobs, posted his top ten reads of 2016 on FB, and although it means I'll be a year behind in my reading, I'm looking forward to digging into Maggie O'Farrell's This Must Be The Place. I know very little about this book except it's about a man trying to find his place in the world.

When I'm on vacation, I like rummaging through second-hand bookstores for classics I've never read. I was in Toronto over the holidays and I picked up a copy of John Updike's Rabbit, Run. I can just hear the chorus of "What, you've-never-read-any-Updike? No, I've also never read any Bellow either, and I haven't delved into Russian lit the way I should, but Updike I shall read soon.

 Just when my list was looking like it had more male authors on it than female, Marjorie Ingall's Mamaleh Know Best: What Jewish Mothers Do to Raise Successful, Creative, Empathetic, Independent Children, came in the mail. I'm not sure I've ever read a parenting book (perhaps I should?) but Mamaleh looks both entertaining as well as instructive. Kudos to whoever designed the beautiful cover. (Jealous!) If Ingall's books is half as cheeky and interesting as her articles for Tablet, and her blog Sorry Watch, I'm sure I'll love it.   

Judaism is a Tool!

This week was a wake-up jolt. The Lieberman-Smith family returned to our regular non-holiday life: work, school, meetings, Nature Club, soccer, piano, a snow day, and Hebrew school. Aside from writing books and teaching almost full time, I also teach Hebrew school. That's right, not only do I write and teach five days a week, but Saturday mornings I get up and teach Hebrew school to my two kids and ten others at our Reform temple. This is both exhausting and incredibly rewarding. Each week I get to create a tiny Jewish oasis of community. For the years my kids and I go to Hebrew school, that's what Shabbat means to us. (In another lifetime I'm hoping Shabbos will also involve rest!)

 

I teach the program so I can create a meaningful Jewish experience for my children. I didn't want their Judaism to be, as one friend put it, only bagel and Holocaust. So what is important to me as a Jewish educator? I teach Hebrew reading, tfillah (prayer), holidays, bible stories, and about tzedakah(good deeds) and mitzvot. (There's also a healthy dose of snack, socializing and crafts.)

Every once in awhile I stand back and think about why I want my kids and students to be Jewish. I want them to use Judaism to celebrate family, create community, do Gimilut Hasidim (acts of loving kindness), and also as a way to approach the sacred and divine in life. I want them to know how to pray in Hebrew as a way to express the happiness and sadness they'll encounter in life. Is that a big goal to achieve in two-and-a-half hours once a week? You bet.

Recently I heard an interview on Unorthodox that put what I was feeling into words. If you haven't listened to Unorthodox yet, I suggest you momentarily stop reading and check it out. Unorthodox is a wildly entertaining, irreverent and frequently enlightening weekly Jewish podcast  from Tablet magazine. For someone like who me who lives far away from major Jewish centers, it's a fantastic way to be  engulfed in all things Jewy. For example, where else am I going to hear interviews with author and filmmaker David Bezmogis, musings on Drake's Jewishness, Holocaust puns, or interviews with divinity students who analyze Harry Potter as a sacred text? How else will I possibly know if there are or were Jewish pirates? If that doesn't move you, let it be said that Unorthodox takes Leonard Cohen very seriously. And that should be enough to move you.

As I said Unorthodox is also enlightening, and that brings me back teaching Hebrew school. A few episodes back the Unorthodox crew interviewed Rabbi Brent Chaim Spodek, the spiritual leader of Beacon Hebrew Alliance of New York. He's a rabbi interested in bringing Judaism out of the shul and into the daily life of  his congregants. In the interview Spodek said that, "Part of the problem with American Judaism is that we think Judaism is the goal not the tool." If kids are bored in services or disconnected from Jewish traditions, why would they be invested in learning that tool? I agree with Spodek that Judaism needs to engage children and be relevant to them. Even more so, I agree with Spodek that kids should be Jewish so that they have tools to  have a sense of awe and wonder, and to express frustration or hope. Being Jewish because you mother said you should, or because Hitler tried to eradicate the Jews is to miss the whole point of what Judaism, and other religions too, can do for you.

Tibetan Prayer Wheels

When I was much younger I travelled in Northern India and Nepal for several months. I visited a lot of Buddhist temples with prayer wheels. Pilgrims circumnavigate the temples and spin these prayer wheels as they walk, and as the wheels turn, the prayers written on them float up to the gods. As I spun those wheels, I couldn't help singing parts of the Jewish liturgy. The words rose up into my mouth and I sang. It was how I expressed the beauty and wonder of what I saw as I walked. And I was thankful for the knowledge of how to pray.

Before Hebrew school broke for the holidays, we had a service with our once-a-month rabbi that happened to fall on the same day as Amnesty International's Write-for Rights Letter Writing Campaign. I'd planned to write letters with my kids that morning as part of our Tikkun Olam (healing the earth) and social action curriculum. This term I'm proud that my students (and their families) collected food and volunteered at the Kingston food bank, and donated money and items for Syrian Refugees coming to our city. When preparing for our Amnesty lesson, I did some research on Human Rights to share with my students. It occurred to me that these rights are almost identical to the list of things we are thankful for in the Baruch Hashchar, a prayer chanted at the beginning of the morning service. I quickly decided to re-write the prayer to reflect the human rights we enjoy in Canada. The whole congregation joined me in praying our Human Rights Baruch Hashachar, and at least for me, it was an incredible connection between being thankful, being present, and helping heal the world a little bit.  And these are also the Jewish tools I wish to impart to my children and students.